Transitioning

I am transitioning from young adult to adult, from daughter to friend, from dependent to independent. I find that this is all very difficult to process. Though I may seem mature, I am actually very childish at heart. My tender whims are being denied and this I find harsh, though this is life. I dream of being great, writing, teaching, and loving. But for some reason I have hit a wall. Now, I want growth to meet me wholeheartedly, now I want to turn the tides outward and into the blue of sky, and now that I stare into the blank of white screen, I wonder why I have taken for granted what I was given:  a truly loyal family, unwavering friends, a sponge like mind, and words that shed from me like skin from a snack. For the longest time the only path I found feasible has denied me its access, and now I am begin to realize that its not the path that matters as much as the journey itself.
 


"Take a step back" "Look at the wall in front of you" "Knock it down" "Hell use your fist if you have to"  

I was once so sure that my life would be designed as I see it, and now that I am beginning to realize that my vision is blurred by my own self-doubt and my own self-loathing, I want nothing more than to stare at the moon and be blessed by its size, be blessed by its presence, to know that I am here, I am standing, and that I too can glow. Now I believe more than ever is the time for action, and this is my creed to myself and the world: I will journey forth towards the enigma that is any life and make my presence known (not as a quivering foolish heart) as a tree, solid, strong, stoic, and sturdy, so that I can give back what was given to me. 

TO MY BELOVED SISTERS

The Deadly Hollows

In the final Harry Potter book, for those who have forgotten, there are these Horcruxes that Harry is trying to destroy in order to be able to destroy the Hitleresque "He Who Must Not Be Named"! This post is not about Harry Potter per say, though I think the idea of "He Who Must Not Be Named" is fascinating.

Actually its just the title I am interested in

The......Deathly......Hallows

We all know what death is, what is HALLOWS?

HALLOWS: 

1. to make holy,  sanctify, consecrate

2. to honor as holy, consider sacred, venerate

3. objects that belong to a deceased saint and buried with him 

NOW I DID SOMETHING SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT WITH THE TITLE

THE......Deadly......HOLLOWS

Here we have the difference between deathly, that which causes death, and deadly, that which is harmful!  While Hollows is:

1. a cavity or depression  

2. without real or significant worth 

3. Hungry, having an empty feeling

4. Insincere or false

Thus my title is all about those pestersome gaps in your life that are a total biproduct of the place you are in and the time you are in. YOU CAN'T ESCAPE THEM, because they are a part of your reality, and YOU CANT FILL THEM IN, because your not in the right place or time to do so. These gaps are there to stay and you have to cope, reconcile, resolve their presence to the best of your effort. But sometimes I can't help feeling angry, like "Why should it be this limited, this binding, this problem of mine?" Other times I'm just sad, like "All around me things are crumbling and I can't do anything, I have no control!"

But today, I feel LUCKY, because the way I see it is that Japan's got it worst, Libya's got it worst, Palestine, Iraq, Chad, Niger, Afghanistan, and oh so many more have got it worse!

This Blog Post is dedicated to the search for those Horcruxes that can be utterly deathly or simply deadly or maybe just dreary. But in the onslaught of all that goes on around us, there is still the prospect of making them destroyable. Here's to hope!

IS BACK

After a long hiatus, I am back to blogging, though I have a tenuous feeling about everything at the moment, I wrote a poem about it, about the confusions definitively determining our times, but I'll be a little more elaborative: